Monday, May 12, 2014

accepting still..



This space, without question, is my favourite room in our home, especially in autumn.  The warm sun streams through the windows, inviting me to sit and encouraging me to be still.  The balcony, although in need of a little attention, is quiet and private, and I can hear the kids playing below in the yard.

Yesterday was mother's day.  Mine started at 2:30am with a sick little boy having fevers and nightmares, another being woken by the commotion and spilling an entire bottle of water in his bed, moving him into the spare room, stripping bed covers, soothing and dosing the other with panadol and just as I get back into bed myself the baby wakes.  Motherhood.  It's exhausting and demanding, challenging our patience and pushing us to our limits, all the while filling our hearts to overflow.     

Somehow over time, I have conjured up great expectations of this day.  I suppose its hard not to with so much attention drawn to it, like everything, you get caught up in the commercialism and swept away by ideals. Truthfully, if it was just another sunday and not a nominated day of celebration, I think I might have considered it close to perfect, with my mothers day stall spoils, a visit to the market in the morning and a peaceful day at home after a rough night. But for some reason, while sitting up there in that gorgeous sunshine, I spent the entire day anticipating. Needing more, expecting more, feeling I hadn't done enough and should have made an effort to have been here or there or anywhere!

It wasn't until later when I realised how precious that time was.  Time to sit and be still, what a gift. Everyone was happily doing their thing, absorbed in play, no one coming up and asking for anything, nothing at all. An easier day I could not have asked for.

In fact all that was really missing was sharing a cup of tea and a chat with my own mum, but it will be just a few more days before I can do that, and she'll be here, and I can't wait.

Life is busy, and a mother's work never ends.  Perhaps the greatest gift we can give to ourselves and our family is time to be still.


4 comments:

  1. It's seriously a great gift. I am not sure I ever perfected it but I learned the art of busyness from my own mother and can completely get that one of the joys of Mother's Day is honouring all those who came before.

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    1. You're right, it's absolutely about those beautiful mothers who came before us. I'm sure the reason I was so unsettled was because I wasn't with my own wonderful mum.

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  2. I understand that almost feeling guilty for not spending the time with them on what has been commercialised as our special day. It sounds like you had a wonderful day to yourself in that beautiful sunny spot creating such a wonderful gift after your rough night. I hope you have been able to catch up with your Mum for that belated mother's day chat. xx

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  3. oh nothing worse than sick kids :( happy mother's day to you x

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